White Mountain Guide Days 66-76

The last ten hikes have been mostly really hard. Sawyer Pond Trail was a gorgeous start to this series and not anything like what the next set of hikes would be like. Shoulder season gave way to winter in earnest and was quickly usurped by a mixture of late fall and early spring weather. I struggled a lot over the last ten hikes. Rather than focusing on my “healing journey” and spending my hikes reflecting on what I want for my future, I was forced to use my mind to push through the hikes themselves. It was cold, snowy, and sometimes a bit scary. 

Winter is hard. I don’t care how prepared you think you are for it, or how many years you’ve hiked in winter, there is no way of knowing what the season will throw at you. I fought through every one of the hikes in this series up to the two last ones (which were on mainly flat trails); quite the opposite of how I felt for the fifteen hikes outlined in my last post. My body was tired. My mind wasn’t in it. I couldn’t check out and go inward, letting my body go into autopilot, and that made the hikes that much harder for me. The last two hikes, though, the weather turned in my favor and trail conditions improved. I made up my mind to learn to love hiking this season, because whether I want to or not I’m going to be hiking through it, so I may as well learn to love it.

11/9/22 - Day Sixty-Six 

Today was a really nice day and went by really fast. I was surprised how fast I was able to get the hike done. I didn’t spend as much time as I would have liked to observing the trails but I just wanted to get the hike done. Last time I attempted to do Sawyer River Trail it was completely covered with water for a stretch where there is a low marshy area. I was worried that I would have to go through water early in the hike again but thankfully it was not covered in water this time. Sawyer River Trail was really nice and Sawyer Pond Trail was in great condition leading south towards the pond. Then, continuing past the pond towards the Kangamangus Highway the trail became less traveled and leaf-covered but was still pretty easy to follow. After exiting the woods I had a five mile road walk back to my car. Because of how quickly I had done the actual trails I didn’t mind the road walk and completed the fifteen miles in 5 ½ hours. 

Daily Miles: 15.44
Daily Vert: 1396’
Overall Mileage: 741.62
Overall Vert: 221,819’
Trace: 31.8% -> 32.4%  

Trails:

Sawyer River Trail
Sawyer Pond Trail
Sawyer Pond Shelter Spur   

11/13/22 - Day Sixty-Seven 

This was a tough day. The trail conditions sucked and it rained almost the entire hike. I ascended Kinsman Ridge going northbound towards Mount Wolf and although the elevation profile would lead you to think it wouldn’t be a hard day it was. The combination of nonstop rocks and roots coupled with rain meant that I couldn’t go as fast as I would’ve liked to and although I wanted to remain dry, even bringing my umbrella, it seemed unavoidable and I spent the entire hike wet. My feet were wet - which seems to be the new normal - and the rest of me was wet as well. Temperatures hovered around freezing and although the precipitation was mainly rain, as I ascended to the summit of Mount Wolf, it began to switch over to sleet. Making my descent down the other side of Mount Wolf, I had hoped to be able to make up speed, but my efforts were thwarted as the trail continued to throw tiny PUDs at me over and over again. I was really grateful that by the time I got onto Reel Brook Trail, it had almost stopped raining and for the last 30 minutes of the day the rain stopped entirely. Not every day is going to be fun or amazing and today certainly was neither. It’s full-blown “almost winter” and time to break out the winter gear.

Daily Miles: 9.32
Daily Vert: 2832’
Overall Mileage: 750.94
Overall Vert: 224,651’
Trace: 32.4% -> 33%

Trails:

Kinsman Ridge Trail
Dilly Spur
Reel Brook Trail

11/14/22 - Day Sixty-Eight 

Today was another rough day, in keeping with the theme, apparently. I’ve hiked Gordon Pond Trail one time before, however it was back when I was still in cancer treatment and my memory was a bit foggier than I realized about how many water crossings there were. The temperatures plummeted overnight, as I knew they would, and with wind chills below zero, I wanted to remain a bit lower in elevation today. A nice out and back on Gordon Pond seemed like the perfect plan. Dressed warm, I started up the trail. While this isn’t my first time hiking in winter temperatures, I always feel stifled and have a more difficult time making forward progress when I’m bundled in what feels like hundreds of layers. I shuffled up the trail until I reached the major water crossing about 1.5 miles into the hike and quickly realized that I would have no real choice but to get my feet wet in crossing. I really didn’t want wet feet in the below freezing temps, but cold feet have never been something I struggle with, (quite the opposite actually) so I continued up the trail with wet feet. By the time I got to Gordon Falls, my toes were getting cold. Colder than I wanted them to be. I stripped off my socks and did some backcountry MacGyver work - putting hand warmers on my feet and wrapping them in my emergency blanket (which I cut into pieces) . They were snug and warm for the remainder of the day. The trail was covered in a fresh dusting of snow, not even an inch of accumulation, and by the time I reached the junction with Kinsman Ridge, I was ready to go back down. Not the most fun hike, especially with cold, wet feet, but I got it done. 

Daily Miles: 8.84
Daily Vert: 1973’
Overall Mileage: 759.78
Overall Vert: 226,624’
Trace: 33% -> 33.3%

Trails:

Gordon Pond Trail  

11/18/22 - Day Sixty-Nine 

Today the prequel ended as winter made its presence known in The Whites over the last week. The next five months will make or break this attempt as trail conditions and weather become less reliable. I’ve been asked many times how I planned out the different hikes and if I had a strategy and the strategy is 100% dictated by things completely out of my control - weather and road closures. I have picked specific hikes for the next 5-7 months based on these two factors and don’t have room for error anymore. If I can’t do a hike, then it will only add to my already very full calendar next summer. I only have so much room to play with and the longer winter lasts the harder it will be to achieve my goal. 

Today was rough. With unconsolidated fresh powder coating the trail and having to climb Mount Martha twice (once from each side of Cherry Mtn. Trail) I felt weighed down and unaccustomed to the way you have to walk when the ground is covered in loose snow. Regardless of how slow I felt like I was going, though, I realized that I had maintained a typical pace after checking my mph at the end of the day. 

The trails were beautiful though and I saw a deer bound through the woods and bear tracks.

Daily Miles: 10.68
Daily Vert: 3504’
Overall Mileage: 770.46
Overall Vert: 230,128’
Trace: 33.3% -> 33.9%

Trails:

Cherry Mtn Trail
Martha’s Mile
Owl’s Head Tr
½ of Lower Falls 

11/19/22 - Day Seventy 

Today I did a traverse over Black Mountain and Blueberry Mountain in Benton, NH. The weather has gone from November temperatures to February ones overnight and don’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. Two days in a row of frigid summit temps and loose snow on the trails has been exhausting. It takes a lot more calories to stay warm in the winter and more energy to hike in unconsolidated snow. Each step requires more strength and the added clothes feel stifling. I am adjusting to what my next few months will look like and it’s not easy. 

I’ve never done Black Mountain or Blueberry before and they were both really pretty peaks. I loved doing them as one long traverse because it meant I only had to hike to the top of each peak once instead of twice as out and backs. I was pretty tired all day because I just hiked the day prior but there was only one way back to my car and that was over the top of Blueberry Mountain and back down the other side. I was thankful that my energy improved as I made my climb up the mountain and I really liked the slow gradual ascent of Blueberry Mountain Trail from the less traveled side.

Daily Miles: 11.23
Daily Vert: 3169’
Overall Mileage: 781.69
Overall Vert: 233,297’
Trace: 33.9% -> 34.5%

Trails:

Black Mountain Trail
Chippewa Trail
Blueberry Mountain Trail
Blueberry Mountain Summit Spur

11/21/22 - Day Seventy-One 

Today I tried to go as fast as I could to get the hike done quickly because of the temperatures. On top of that, I was super stressed about the missing hiker. I can’t help but feel for her family and for all of the people out searching for her. As much as I tried to focus on my own hike and not let it make me anxious, I kept getting pulled back into a spiral of anxiety and when I had service I would scroll through social media, praying that she had been found alive. 

Tunnel Brook is a really pretty trail. Because the trail is covered in snow now I got to see how many animals use it and let’s just say it is most definitely a major highway for coyotes and deer. The three water crossings at the beginning were tough because none of them are bridged and the water is still high from the recent rains. I managed to cross all of them without getting wet feet but had to put on my spikes because of the ice covering the rocks. The beaver ponds at the height of land are also gorgeous. I can see why someone would want to camp on this trail. 

Daily Miles: 10.41
Daily Vert: 1794’
Overall Mileage: 792.10
Overall Vert: 235,091’
Trace: 34.5% -> 34.8%

Trails:

Tunnel Brook Trail

11/23/22 - Day Seventy-Two 

Another really long and cold day today. First I traversed Carr Mountain and then I did a loop on Mt. Kineo Trail, Donkey Hill Cutoff, and Three Ponds. The loop was really pretty and I bet in the summer that area is gorgeous. I was tired by the time I finished the first 6 miles and still had another 5 to go so I wasn’t entirely thrilled with the trail conditions on the smaller loop. I’ve never done any of these trails before either so I didn’t know what I was getting myself into (minus what I had read in the guidebook and gleaned from discussions with fellow hikers). I am not a fan of winter. I know a lot of hikers think it’s so pretty and amazing - and I agree it is really pretty - but it’s also really challenging. My feet hurt a lot because my hiking shoes for winter are different from my usual shoes and with chronic foot problems my shoes aggravate the underlying issues. Wearing thick wool socks on top of thick leggings feels constricting and I’m having to stop more to take off my jackets and then put them back on to try to not sweat the whole day. I genuinely don’t understand why people love winter. I wish I could but I don’t.

Daily Miles: 11.72
Daily Vert: 3484’
Overall Mileage: 803.82
Overall Vert: 238,575’
Trace: 34.8% -> 35.6%

Trails:

Carr Mtn. Trail
Waternomee Spur
Three Ponds Trail
Donkey Hill Cutoff
Mt. Kineo Trail

11/26/22 - Day Seventy-Three 

The last few hikes have been really hard. I have an aversion to winter hiking. I get in my own head about it and then work myself up thinking I’m in all sorts of danger and need to go faster to get the hike done so that I’m safe. I’m not in any danger. I’m smart and capable of making good choices. This is just the dialogue I’ve told myself for years. Today I decided to tell myself a new dialogue. That I am safe, that I am smart, and that this isn’t even scary. I told myself I can go as slow as I need to as long as I get the hike done. I gave myself permission to take my time. And guess what? I finished the hike in 2.1 mph elapsed time, which is way faster than I thought I was going all day. I have at least another three months of winter hiking conditions and I’m not spending the next three months terrified and miserable. This experience has taught me that even when things are uncomfortable at first, eventually they become less so if you are willing to stick it out through that discomfort. That our minds don’t like change because change is hard but change is not always bad. So I’m going to take the next three-five months and face conditions that I normally loathe and learn to turn that loathing into love.

Daily Miles: 10.36
Daily Vert: 2792’
Overall Mileage: 814.18
Overall Vert: 241,367’
Trace: 35.6% -> 36%

Trails:

Smarts Brook Trail
Tri-Town Trail

11/28/22 - Day Seventy-Four  

Today I woke up late and ended up doing a loop that I did back when I was in treatment - Carter Ledge and Middle Sister Trail. I went the opposite direction that I did this loop last time, taking Carter Ledge up and Middle Sister down. It was icy once I got to the ledges on Carter Ledge and on the final stretch to the summit of Middle Sister I wore my spikes. You will need spikes if you’re doing this trail to the summit because the ice is unavoidable. Overall, I enjoyed today. It was warmer than the last few hikes and there was no snow for a large majority of the day. I tried to remind myself that these moments with no snow are numbered, that I should savor them while they last, and I did just that. 

Daily Miles: 8.36
Daily Vert: 2947’
Overall Mileage: 822.54
Overall Vert: 244,314’
Trace: 36% -> 36.5% 

Trails:

Carter Ledge Trail
Middle Sister Trail 

12/5/22 - Day Seventy-Five 

Today went much differently than I originally planned. After waking up late, and feeling quite awful, I decided to do a series of shorter hikes rather than one long one. Winter feels weird. Rather than hiking back to back to back nonstop, I had 6 days off before today’s hike. Stepping out of the world that I’ve been in since June felt so much less stressful. I felt like I could breathe and be human for a bit. I read, watched TV, and did normal adult things, like wrapping presents and baking cookies. Even though I’m not doing a traditional thru-hike, there is no denying how much time I am spending in the woods and driving and planning the next hike has had a very similar effect on my life. Everything revolves around hiking. I plan my days off so that I’m set up for my next series of hikes. Packing food bags, grocery shopping, doing laundry, and writing posts. Plus working two days a week and driving thousands of miles…

I feel like it would be easier to do a thru-hike in many ways. To not feel the pressure to check and recheck routes, to not be working, and to not be driving hours a day on top of the hikes. But this is so incredibly hard and transformative and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. This is my gift to myself for going through cancer treatment. 

Daily Miles: 7.91
Daily Vert: 1875’
Overall Mileage: 830.45
Overall Vert: 246,189’
Trace: 36.5% -> 36.7%

Trails:

Gordon Pond Trail
Lower Falls
Kilburn Crags
Lone Oak
Around-The-Lake
Red Bench

12/7/22 - Day Seventy-Six 

Today was a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. I started the day off feeling a bit sad. The two year anniversary of Monique’s passing is in a few days, the 30th anniversary of my dad’s passing is the 17th, and I recently found out some terrible news about a friend. December is heavy. It’s a lot of sad dates in a row and then Christmas. It’s remembering how I was sick and bald just 2 Christmases ago. It’s wondering if a family member is going to be here next Christmas, someone too young to be wondering that. It’s just one thing after another. But I felt better after the first 4 miles of hiking. The return to my car was really nice. I took more time to see the artifacts that are scattered along the sides of the old railroad bed and then went to do Rollo Path. I ended up adding Mud Pond Trail to the day and felt really happy. It was so nice to go see this really short trail as a person not in cancer treatment. It was so much easier than last time. Every time I do the trails that I did while in treatment I’m blown away by how sick I really was and didn’t realize and how much stronger I am now. 

Daily Miles: 10.08
Daily Vert: 456’
Overall Mileage: 840.53
Overall Vert: 246,645’
Trace: 36.7% -> 37.1%

Trails:

Rollo Fall Path
Presidential Rail Trail
Mud Pond Trail