The Final 33% of Round 2 of the White Mountain Guidebook
Life since finishing round 1 of the White Mountain Guide has been, in a word, weird. If I’m honest, life since August, 2020 has been anything but what I envisioned, but I’m pretty sure we all know that portion of the story by now. I fully intended on making a career out of being a freelance writer, blogger, creator, solopreneur (call it what you want) after finishing the guidebook October, 2023, and by and large for eleven months that is exactly what I tried to do. But with my injury in the spring of 2024 which took me off trail for all of the summer, and coming to the realization that I was making pennies on the dollar writing for my website/Substack, and gear companies, when a full time traditional job came up for the fall of 2024, I jumped at the chance to be able to stop working so hard hustling.
Since September, 2024, I’ve been working at a high school in a non-teaching role and working a regular full time job, attempting to write here and there when the mood strikes, but barely putting in any real effort on my websites (and deactivating Substack altogether). What little opportunities I had to get paid writing gigs for outdoor websites just didn’t sit right with me (they felt forced and algorithmic rather than authentic) so I just stopped pitching, and therefore just stopped writing.
To be completely honest, I not only needed a break from writing, but also from hiking and for the entire fall/winter/spring that is exactly what I did. The hikes that remain for me to complete round 2 of “the guidebook” are almost all only doable between late May and late October and without a very specific goal, I struggle to find motivation to drive hours north on the weekends to hike.
This spring, I finally decided to complete one book that I’ve had drafted for a while now, and although it is not what I expected my first book to be, it is done and it is mine and even if it doesn’t resonate with anyone it resonated with me. Promoting a book of poetry is hard and I would be shocked if it sold more than 100 copies, but it is done, and I can say that I finished one of the many projects that I’ve been working on for the last 5 years finally.
Speaking of projects that I never seem to finish, spring was also a time of testing my skills at podcasting and vlogging only to conclude that I am way too nervous to be on camera as a podcast host, and that’s ok. While I love history and sharing the history of the White Mountains, it’s probably not in the cards for me to host a podcast, but I gave it a go and now I know. I’m giving myself permission to take as long as I need to before committing to any one future endeavor surrounding the reading I’ve been doing on the history of the White Mountains, and especially as we enter summer, I know that sitting inside reading is not how I want to spend my days (especially after doing that all of last year).
I’ve been extremely overwhelmed and stressed out at work the last few weeks as the school year comes to a close, and it didn’t hit me just how out of my comfort zone I am until I went hiking after one of the most stressful weeks I’ve had in years. My nervous system is an absolute dumpster fire, my HRV is unbalanced, and my sleep has been trash. It made me realize just how much I am not built for a high energy, extroverted, heavily stressful work environment, but am really good at masking and appearing as if I am. I also realized that I am not who I used to be before June, 2020. I’ve trained myself to feel much more comfortable alone in the woods and even just a few hours doing what I did full time for 16 ½ months made me realize that as much as I enjoy a traditional job and the paycheck, it has wreaked havoc on me. I know that most people would be inclined to agree and are probably thinking, “well yeah, same, Rebecca” but if this is how we all feel, why are we doing this to ourselves?
While I don’t intend on quitting my job and going back to just freelancing, I definitely believe that I need to make some adjustments on how I navigate life going forward and the first of those adjustments is spending more time hiking after work. I’ve also learned how to be more attuned to my body, and when I start to get overwhelmed at work, I try to step away for a few minutes and just be alone. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to do that in the last few weeks, which has been really hard. Sensory overload is very real and for someone who is highly sensitive to noise, I can’t even begin to tell you how hard my job can be sometimes.
Now that I feel like I’ve given a pretty thorough life update, I’m ready to share the big news and why I am now writing this blog post. Finishing round 2 of the White Mountain Guide is something that I had hoped to be doing this summer but with last year’s injury I have to put the completion off for another year. Finding a way to share my journey in a way that feels linear is also something that I’ve been struggling with. I’ve contemplated starting over at zero again, and just blogging my hikes at a much more leisurely pace, and I’ve thought about finishing round two and continuing my blogs right into round 3, but neither of those options felt right to me.
Since finishing round 1, I have completed an additional 10% towards round 2, and am at 67.7% complete for round 2 as of today, leaving 32.3% left. While that may not sound like much, that 32.3% will take roughly 775 miles of hiking and 75ish days of hiking to finish (not to mention all of the driving between trailheads). I’ve planned and replanned those 75 hikes but since almost all of them need to be done in summer, I’ve been patiently waiting for the real adventure to begin for the last 9 months.
If I want to finish the guidebook by the fall of 2026, I have to hike 3-5 days a week for the next two summers and weekends for most of fall and spring. Having done this exact same routine before, I know that plans can and will change. I also know that if I want to be smart about this, I will front load this summer with more hikes to give me a buffer for next summer. The planning phase has been done now for over a year and a half, the only thing left to do is step foot on the trail and complete the miles.
My body has healed as much as it is going to, and I’ve been very cognizant of how close I am to reinjuring myself if I’m not careful. Furthermore, my diet has changed a lot since round 1 of the guide and incorporating a lot more protein has been a huge energy booster for me. I’m hoping that finishing round 2 will go smoothly, but more importantly, I’m hoping that I can begin to “create” on a more consistent basis again.
Feeling like I have had to give up my identity by returning to full time work has been weighing on me. Returning to the two things that set my soul on fire, is long overdue. The final third of the guidebook isn’t the closing of a very large chapter of my life, I believe it is actually the beginning of finding my way back to the person I became from June 19, 2022 - October 29, 2023. I miss her and as much as she was very much ready to be done hiking well before October, 2023, I know that the person who I was during that incredible 16 ½ month period of time is the most authentic version of myself that I have ever been. The mountains are calling, my friends, and it is time I answer.
