Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Emotionally, I am tired. It is a lot to process and it’s exhausting repeating the same story over and over to people. That’s why I decided to write this post, not because I want to be cold or distant. I’m just tired of talking about cancer right now and want to go hiking.
My heart began to pound hard and fast in my chest as soon as I saw the Manchester, NH number appear on my phone. I answered and the doctor introduced herself to me. I knew before she said the words, because I’ve known for a week now. It’s everybody else that has been in denial, I think. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma and a smaller section of Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. Words I would never have known seven days ago have become as familiar to me as many of the trail names in The White Mountains, within the past week. I have breast cancer. It’s official, and although my hands shook a bit as I took down the information, I felt a sense of relief wash over me as she gave me all of the details.
The cancer in my left breast is stage 1 or possibly stage 2, there are two separate masses, and possibly another closer to my chest cavity (an MRI will be done to get a better picture of everything). The pathology hasn’t come back yet but, “nothing they’re seeing points to chemo.” This has been my greatest fear all along, that I would need chemotherapy. The doctor stated that it’s early stage breast cancer, that I’m young so they want to do genetic testing, and will perform an MRI to make sure they can see everything that’s in there (I’m paraphrasing). She is hopeful that the pathology will come back with positive hormone receptors (Estrogen and/or Progesterone) and that’s all. HER2 positive is highly unlikely (15% chance) and that’s why I probably won’t need chemo.
Bear in mind that everything I’m typing here is not verbatim and is my own interpretation of the conversation, minus the words in bold. I made sure to write that down word for word because that’s all I have wanted to hear for the last five days.
Next Steps
I spent the last few hours making appointments with various departments. They will do genetic testing, an MRI, and I should hear back with the pathology results early next week. I see the surgeon next week as well to go over everything in detail. I have a final appointment scheduled in a week and a half to meet with the surgeon and go over all of the tests and come up with a plan on how to treat this.
What I know so far regarding treatment is this:
I will have a lumpectomy (at minimum)
PLUS
I may need radiation
I may need to take hormone blockers
I may need a mastectomy
I may need chemotherapy
If all I end up needing is a lumpectomy and radiation/hormone blockers, I can be back out in the woods as soon as I heal from the surgery, which shouldn’t take more than two-three weeks. Obviously if I need chemotherapy that will mean more time off trail and probably deferring entering graduate school this fall as well. A mastectomy would also mean longer recovery time and probably deferring my enrollment at UNH.
I will have a better idea of what my treatment plan will look like once the pathology report comes back, but for now it looks very hopeful that I won’t need chemotherapy and will be able to hike a lot more than I thought! I’m going to hike every day I can in the upcoming weeks. In fact, my husband wants me to be in “the best shape possible” because it will help with recovery (his words). I don’t know yet how I’m going to handle the whole restarting redlining yet, as in, when I will restart (January 1? May?) For now, I’m going hiking tomorrow and probably Sunday too. I’ll obviously keep everyone posted on how things are going as they progress.
